11/23/2005

Time For A Sexual Jihad

I was listening to Sean Hannity on the way home and he had former Democratic Congressman and head of the National Council of Churches Bob Edgar on for a discussion about the war in Iraq. Edgar talked about what a huge mistake the war is and said, as many before him have said, that we have created more terrorism than we've eliminated.

With this impeccable logic, it occurred to me that the time has come to take action. Therefore I, Jim Rose, am officially declaring war on all attractive women that want to have sex with me. According to the flawless analysis of Bob Edgar, Cindy Sheehan, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Jimmy Carter, et al, this declaration is creating attractive women who want to have sex with me as we speak.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?

UPDATE: IT'S WORKING! A matter of minutes after I published this post, Drudge broke the story of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson breaking up. How long before she calls me? Giddyup!

MORE: Oh, it's true.